Sunday, March 17, 2013

Westcoast Driftwood



This is a picture of a driftwood beach shack that we found on the beach today.  When I first arrived  on the westcoast, I was shocked at the size of the driftwood at the beach.  Where I grew up there were pockets of driftwood, a lot smaller because the trees are smaller, and we had to search quite a long time to gather enough for a bonfire, which we did often.  Here, the driftwood is huge and everywhere you go, you have to walk over them to go for a walk on the beach as we did today. 


Anywhere that you find driftwood around here it seems that someone ends up building a hut, I'm not sure who does it but it so charming.  I can only imagine if it was a romantic rendezvous or some kids having a party or who knows what.  I always envision what it would be like to be able to stay there for a few days.  Too cold right now, but later in the summer. 
I especially love this one and its beautiful decorations at the doorway.  Someone lovingly brought jewelry to adorn their creation and left it behind for all of us to enjoy.  How wonderful.  What a great place to live.

Hope

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Hitchhiking



This is a picture of what we call here a 'car-stop' which is a place to stand while waiting for a lift from someone in a car who is passing by.  This is similar to what many of the islands here are doing.  When I was young, hitchhiking was a cool, common thing to do especially for young people.  Our parents worried and told us not to but we all did it anyway.  Lots of 60's and 70's music is filled with references to this phenomenon.  However, in recent years it has become much more unusual to see anyone hitching a ride let alone daring to pick anyone up.  I know as a woman especially if I'm driving alone, I wouldn't even consider it.  But island life is a little different.  Hitching a ride here is pretty much a normal way to get around and people consider it to be pretty safe and as far as I know it is.  They formalized the process a bit by creating places all over the island where people can stand and cars can offer rides if they want to.  First of all it provides some safety in that there is some space for cars to pull off the road and so that the hitchhikers aren't dangerously close to the road.  At night it is pitch black around here. 
Today was the first day that I actually stopped.  Being a fairly new full time resident I don't know that many people yet so I am still a bit hesitant, so today I bit the bullet and picked up a young man who was going to work.  We had a very interesting conversation along the way and I was so glad that I offered him a lift.  I would have missed out on the opportunity to meet a new and interesting person.  Who knows what this meeting could mean, these are the small things that lead to connection to community.

Years ago I moved to a small village in Germany.  I knew no one and spoke very little german.  Luckily I had taken a course in german just before I left but being in the middle of a town of all german speakers, I quickly realized that my book-german was not going to get me very far.  With the accents and local dialects it was as if I knew nothing.  So I went about my business of moving in and getting settled in our house.  I had remembered from our german teacher that Friday is the traditional day to buy flowers 'blumen-tag', or 'flower day' so I went to the end of the street which the main street in the village, to the flower shop and went in to buy some flowers in my school-book german, introducing myself as the new foreigner in town.  The flower shop lady was very sweet and said how pleased and surprised that I knew any of the language and was willing to speak to her and introduce myself.  I didn't know at the time that many foreigners do not do that, they speak English and hope that people understand.  I was so happy that she was so friendly.  She said she was one of my neighbours.  I suggested getting together sometime.  She immediately said, when?  Taken aback a bit, I invited her over for coffee, kaffe-kuchen as it is known there, and she accepted.  She arrived with a friend on the day we arranged with flowers and gifts, we had a lovely visit and from then on we were invited to every event on the street.  I will be forever grateful for their kindness and generosity.  If I had not reached out that day, I'm not sure that it would have unfolded exactly in this way.  I was told later that people there usually wait for the newcomers to show interest in the community before they act. 
This is how small acts sometimes cause big changes.  This was the first real act of reaching out to a stranger that I've done in a long time.  It felt good.

Hope

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Family



I've been really thinking about something lately.  What is family?  I spent most of my adult life moving around due to my ex-husbands job.  I really enjoyed most of the interesting places I have lived and because of always having to adapt to new places, I've really appreciated the value of friends and kind neighbours or even strangers.  Most of what I have been through in my life was only shared by the people that I was in contact with while I lived in those places.  My family back in the east coast were not that interested in what I was doing, it was up to me to keep the contact and make sure I visited every once in a while to stay connected.  But now I don't belong there at all anymore, nor do I want to.  I have much more in common with the folks I live around now, having settled in the Pacific Northwest.  But every now and then some family event happens that I am required to go to, lets say weddings and funerals, so I go and share some of their memories but they don't know anything about my life and don't really seem to care about my life the way I live it now.  Yet there is a sense that I have to keep up my end of the family obligations and act accordingly.  I feel like a big fake.  They act as if I am a part of it when I really am not and haven't been for a long time.  I'm not sure what to do about this or if I have to do anything.  I can keep on going and doing my part, just being there as the 'picture' of the family, join in the sharing of stories, then go home to my life as it is.  They really don't care as long as I keep up my end of the bargain.  But I've been increasingly feeling like a fraud.  Like I am pretending to be a part of a big connected family that I really don't feel connected to at all.  I wonder how other people navigate this dilemma.  I know there are so many of us out there who are family in name only, their real family is their day to day connections with those who love them, those who share their real life.  I've heard it called their 'chosen family'.  I'm starting to believe that I can only tolerate the family of origin dynamics if I put my chosen family first.  Who is more important than those who love you and help you through the most important things in your life.  For me that is not my birth family, it is a collection of others who have been there for me no matter what.  Along with a few family members, like my daughter, who has lived a similar life and totally gets this.  I can count on one hand the people I consider my family. 
I have come to the conclusion that nurturing the old family connections would leave me surrounded by people who just want me to fit in to their lives, whereas if I nurture the relationships with those around me who are always there for me, I am creating my new family.  My old family will always have their place but the love in my new family is reciprocal, more respectful of the needs of my soul.
I think we all wrestle with this somewhat don't we?  We all have to find our place in the world.  That's what life is all about isn't it?

Hope

Friday, March 1, 2013

West Coast Starfish and the Power of Intention



One of the most amazing things I saw while I was living in Alaska was gigantic starfish something like this picture.  Once, we were staying for the weekend in the beautiful seaside village of Homer Alaska and everyone we talked to told us to make sure we took a trip on a little ferry called the 'Danny J' which left from the Homer Spit.  We did and it was one of the best things I've ever done. 





It was a lovely little ride around some small islands, we saw puffins and other seabirds, sea otters and once we got to Halibut Cove, we got off the boat to stay for a few hours wandering around the boardwalks and pathways.  Halibut Cove is a small artists community with only about 25 or so permanent residents, with one restaurant and many art galleries.  While walking along the boardwalk I saw in the water the most huge, amazing starfish in all different colours.  This was the first  time I had ever seen such a thing, even though I grew up near the ocean on the east coast.  We have many similar starfish here in the Pacific Northwest too, I see one almost everytime I go out for a walk by the water.  I never get tired of seeing them.  They come in many sizes and colours too.




Isn't that just amazing!!!  The other day we went out for a walk on the beach and we saw a seagull struggling with something huge in its mouth...we stayed a while and watched until we finally realized it was a very large starfish.  It took the seagull many tries and lots of flinging to finally break it apart and swallow it.  It was almost the size of the seagull itself.   It looked something like this except the starfish was even larger:




Something just recently brought memories flooding back that  I hadn't thought of in a long time.  That day I was in Halibut Cove, I looked around at the houses and the lifestyle of the people who lived there and thought to myself 'I'd like to live like this someday'.   I was completely enchanted and my life at the time was not anything like the life that was there in front of me.  I literally hadn't thought about that in over 10 years.  I really meant it when I said that to myself but I also thought it was not possible.  Now here I am 15 years later, living on an island on the westcoast, seeing starfish whenever I want to , surrounded by artists and interesting people.  Really living the kind of lifestyle I envied back then.  I think I had inadvertently set an intention that day.  I am a big believer in intentions, they are powerful things.  Once that intention was set, I made decisions later on in my life that led me to the ideal life that I had pictured there.   One seemingly unconnected decision after another and here I am without realizing I was doing it.  Wow! 

This is the thinking behind vision boards.  Creating a board of pictures or images of what we want to draw into our lives.  Once you can visualize a goal I believe it is much more likely that you can achieve it.  I had a real life vision of a life that I wanted and ended up creating one very similar with all the characteristics that attracted me about that place.  Minus the Alaskan winters, dodged a bullet there.  Everytime I see starfish now I am reminded of what I have created. 

Hope